Laundry room fridge.

Laundry room fridge.

Weird,

I actually lost a follower. Weird weekend indeed. Know any friends who don’t follow me? Tell ‘em to. I need more friends. That’s for sure.

Tomorrow I have to drive to Tampa to pick up my aunt from the airport. That’ll probably be awkward.

No internet at grandma’s either, I’m not like. addicted or anything, haha.

Viewing and funeral on Wednesday.


Here’s a story to give you context:


When I first met Keri and she was coming over to my house, you could say that I was crippled with anxiety. I had it bad. I have it bad. So, she would come over and christ, she’s so beautiful and I knew almost immediately that I was in love with her. I just knew. And so she’d be over and I was on the verge of having this panic attack with this gorgeous girl in my living room, but I found out that if I was holding the guitar and playing lightly, or just holding it, I could talk and function. At first I had to make it very clear to her that I wasn’t ignoring her, but that I was totally overwhelmed with her presence and I needed an outlet for this feeling. She totally understood.

Also, what’s interesting, is the last time I saw my grandparents, and my grandfather alive was this summer with Keri. They really liked her a lot. I almost called her after my mom called me and broke the news, but I didn’t. And that made me sad. I would have really liked her to be here with me for this. NO, no, I’m still not over her.

Anyways, here’s the context. I forgot my guitar in Naples. I don’t have a guitar to let my feelings out on. Or Internet to complain about it in. Today I just paced the house and paced the yard, checking on the orange trees, walking back and forth.


I really need either Keri(even though we haven’t spoke in 3 months) or a guitar or piano. Maybe I can get the keys to my grandmas church and use the piano.

I’m going to get some more smokes.

letitride:chelseawrites

I should’ve told him that you were the one for me
But I lied, But I lied
Tied up to concrete at the bottom of the quarry
With a tattoo on his heart that spelled out “Caroline”
He was silent but his rosary
Drifted into the custody
Of a sheriff that was just deputized

And I was down at the banquet hall
When two guys came up, pretty angry and drunk
And I’m still here at the banquet hall
At the banquet hall
Where the gun went off, in the Carolina Rain
In the Carolina Rain, in the Carolina Rain
Oh, Caroline

Wow, is all I gotta say. It’s pretty clear to me that Ryan really enjoys singing this song, I don’t know how I missed this one on 29, but I did.

This might be a new favorite of mine. This video (the production) and song are really, really top notch.

"Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are."
—

Markus Zusak

(via kari-shma)(via mfs)(via runawaytrainwreck)

My grandmother was shocked that she was on the computer screen. So cute. So, anyways, yeah. Grandpa is gone. Everyone’s taking it really hard, and that’s hard for me because I’ve always been this center of strength for the family, which I’ve always never been really comfortable with. I don’t want to be someone’s emotional strength. It’s a burden. I haven’t cried yet, I’m having doubts that I will. I’m just not a crier. Also, even though I went to (but didn’t graduate from bible college) it’s really awkward having all my grandparents church friends over, and them wanting to pray and hold my hand. What am I suppose to do, tell them all that, “yeah, I think it’s cool whatever you do, but I’m basically an agnostic now, I think what you’re doing is ridiculous.” No, I can’t do that, I’m not an awful person. It’s just hard. It also looks like I’ll be staying here in Bradenton for at least a month. My grandma is legally blind and can’t do much. It worked with gramps around, because he was deaf, but as a team they were golden. I don’t know what I’m going to do for money, and although I used to have a million friends here I’ve lost touch with them all, which makes me sad. I could really used a stiff drink about now. anyone wanna take me out?

My grandmother was shocked that she was on the computer screen. So cute.

So, anyways, yeah. Grandpa is gone. Everyone’s taking it really hard, and that’s hard for me because I’ve always been this center of strength for the family, which I’ve always never been really comfortable with. I don’t want to be someone’s emotional strength. It’s a burden.

I haven’t cried yet, I’m having doubts that I will. I’m just not a crier.

Also, even though I went to (but didn’t graduate from bible college) it’s really awkward having all my grandparents church friends over, and them wanting to pray and hold my hand. What am I suppose to do, tell them all that, “yeah, I think it’s cool whatever you do, but I’m basically an agnostic now, I think what you’re doing is ridiculous.” No, I can’t do that, I’m not an awful person. It’s just hard.

It also looks like I’ll be staying here in Bradenton for at least a month. My grandma is legally blind and can’t do much. It worked with gramps around, because he was deaf, but as a team they were golden.

I don’t know what I’m going to do for money, and although I used to have a million friends here I’ve lost touch with them all, which makes me sad.

I could really used a stiff drink about now. anyone wanna take me out?

I'd like to amend that-

By saying its not my mother so much as it’s my entire family treat me like I’m still a ten year old. I’m sure this isn’t an a unique concept, but to me this is why I moved away in the first place. I’d like to shout, “look, I’m almost 30, mom I don’t need you explaining to me how the dryer works!” Sorry for this vent, its just really frustrating being home like this.

My anxiety is about to peak. My mother could make paint peel.

Going to Bradenton,

To do that family stuff. I shaved for the first time since the beginning of August.

I don’t know when I’ll be coming back “home”.

It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later?

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

William Elliott Whitmore - Rest His Soul

So my Grandfather died.

fuck.

(via poladroidfreakteam) Hi, remember me? Oh, no? Well, I remember you. We met when I was 13, you came into my house every Wednesday or so and then, remember you were in all of my teenage dreams at night? How… could you forget me? Remember, I got a computer and printed your photo on that inkjet and hung it above my bed, like the Catholics hang a photo of Mary. I would look up at you each night and think, “Christ, that Jordan- he doesn’t get you like I get you.” Then you got involved with that guy, Ben Lee, and I threw away all the cd’s I owned that were recorded by australian artists. So long Silverchair cd’s. I just don’t know how you could be such a big part of my life, Claire and still I’m not on your radar. Well, I hope you read this, and email me or something, because I think at least you owe me that. Forever, Michael Waskom

(via poladroidfreakteam)

Hi, remember me? Oh, no? Well, I remember you. We met when I was 13, you came into my house every Wednesday or so and then, remember you were in all of my teenage dreams at night? How… could you forget me?

Remember, I got a computer and printed your photo on that inkjet and hung it above my bed, like the Catholics hang a photo of Mary. I would look up at you each night and think, “Christ, that Jordan- he doesn’t get you like I get you.”

Then you got involved with that guy, Ben Lee, and I threw away all the cd’s I owned that were recorded by australian artists. So long Silverchair cd’s.

I just don’t know how you could be such a big part of my life, Claire and still I’m not on your radar.

Well, I hope you read this, and email me or something, because I think at least you owe me that.

Forever,

Michael Waskom

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Themed by: Hunson